Recent study shows that: The heart grows weaker every time we do something opposite of what we feel.

-Reader’s Digest

I’ve read this quote from a friend of mine on her Facebook status message, and it struck me like a lightning volt! Why? There’s some things in my life which I’ve always wanted to do, or more like a dream, goal, destiny or whatever you call it, was somehow deprived from me and I know it makes my heart weaker every time I think about it.

Now what are “these” things I’m talking about?

There’s only a handful of it. First is my dream to be a successful musician. Since the day I’ve learned how to play the basic instruments, I’ve dreamed of myself playing in front of a crowd, entertaining them, enjoying the music, I will even play without anything in return just to see the crowd enjoying what I do. *sigh* Sadly, my family won’t let me in a band that I wanted.

I remembered when they said to me when I was in college, “Pila ra nang banda-banda kung mahuman kag skwela.” (You can go in a band all you want after you finish college.) I graduated with a bachelor’s degree in Computer Science, but then, still they won’t let me. Does promises really meant to be broken? Yes I was in a church band, but that’s not my heart is telling me.

My cousin (my band mate back then) told me, “You have a talent Marc, and you’re good at it“. Now, he’s a very good bass player and with a band which is stable and entertaining around Manila for a while now. Miss Kuh Ledesma on a TV show called Diz Iz It, once said “Talents should be shown to the world, it’s in the Bible“. All these quotes and thoughts about me, not showing my talents to the world, makes my heart go weak, every time.

Secondly, and probably the last thing I would mention in this article, is to experience things that would develop myself as a man. Sooner or later, I have to stand on my own, without experience, it will be hard for me to adjust and you know that. When I was in college, I wanted to experience driving a PUJ (Public Utility Jeep) to somehow add up to my allowance. We had a jeep, and I wondered if I can turn it back into a PUJ again and I would drive it on my vacant time in between class schedules ’cause I have a lot of vacant times when I was in college, but my family wouldn’t let me. I wanted to experience working in Manila, but my family told me “Could you handle it?”. How would I know if I won’t try?

Well this sums it all up. Every time I think about it, it makes me weak, makes my heart weak.

Here are some quotes that I find like food for the soul.

Here’s a bit of practical (or impractical, depending on the situation) advice. Whatever you really want to do but are afraid to do–DO IT. Take the chance–follow your heart. It’s essential to listen to the messages from your heart. These messages are your soul’s desire. They communicate to you what you are meant to be doing at any given time in your life. If you don’t follow these messages, you will inevitably be straying from your life’s path.

-Jon Gabriel, The Gabriel Method, Page 22

And here’s a line from the movie “The Pursuit of Happyness”.

“Hey. Don’t ever let somebody tell you… You can’t do something. Not even me. You got a dream… You gotta protect it.”

-Chris Gardner

I just wish I could do all the things my heart is telling me to do.

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